My entire adult life I have been a dreamer. Always aspiring to be some kind of an artist or entrepreneur in hopes of a more fulfilled life. I tried a couple of things, and every time they got hard, I would give up. Then I would get frustrated, maybe even get mad at God and wonder why nothing good ever worked out for me. What I didn’t realize, is that in my quest for a more fulfilled life, I somehow became under the impression that fulfilled also meant fun and easy. In my mind, working a regular job was difficult and boring, and the life of an artist or entrepreneur was supposed to be different. It took me a long time to realize that I had it all backwards. Starting a business is hard, trying to create value for people that they will spend their hard earned money for is hard. Working a regular job, clocking in and out is the easier, safer option. If being an entrepreneur is the more difficult route, then what is the value in it? This is something I wrestled with a lot this year.
When I started my photography business, I had hopes that one day I could just do that. Doesn’t that sound like a good life? Being out in nature all day taking photos, then selling them to people, what a life right? But then it got hard, like it always does, and I began to question why I ever thought this was a good idea, like I always do. Six months ago I was ready to give up, I shut my website down, tried to liquidate all the product I had to hopefully break even, and I was just about done with it. But in the process of liquidating all my product, I started hearing how much my work meant to people. Through that, the lightbulb finally went off. The reason why I could never stick with anything is because I never saw any value for it outside of myself. It was always just about me and my own amusement. Fulfillment has to be about other people, that’s how we find meaning and purpose in life. Fulfillment is always hard because getting outside of myself is always hard. The value in my efforts, even though it is the more difficult option, is that I am providing a service to other people. I am helping to make people’s lives better.
There is a Bruce Lee quote that I have been thinking a lot about lately that goes, “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.” Something I have been realizing is that I need to stop expecting life to be easy and getting frustrated when it is not, for it is just not how life is. Life is hard, and if it is not then it is more than likely not fulfilling. I’m learning to accept the difficulty of life and not run from it like I often have.